The Ghost of Michael Jackson was not impressed with his memorial service and has lodged a complaint with God and the television networks.
"There was too much stupid nobodies I barely knew getting up on stage and talking crap", said Jackson's ghost.
"There was a really annoying politician talking absolute shite out of her arse and waving about the declaration of independence or something", cringed Jackson.
He had issue with the lack of famous people and demanded to know why Liz Taylor, Diana Ross, Liza Minelli or Paul McCartney didn't bother to show up.
He also couldn't understand how or why a fucking Welsh child managed to get on stage.
Jackson was surprised to learn that he was black:
"All these years I've been acting like I'm a white guy and then all of a sudden I'm confronted with the Rev. Al Sharpton and the fat kids of Martin Luther King Jnr telling me otherwise. It's crazy!".
