In another pathetically desperate attempt to appear hip, soon-to-be-outgoing prime minister Gordon Brown phoned The People's Twat, Jack Tweed, to check he was OK upon his release from prison.
Brown said: "I just wanted to check he was doing alright, like I did with Susan Boyle. He's a very nice young man who's still grieving for the loss of his dear wife, Jade Goody."
The grieving widow is planning a party for his 22nd birthday which he said on his Facebook page will be a "night of mayhem" and he added: "See you in your bikinis, girls."
Tweed is said to be considering his options, now that his career as the husband of a Z-list celebrity is over. Essex residents have signed a petition demanding The People's Dick be given a knighthood for his heroism and bravery in having been briefly married to someone who got cancer. Mum of twelve, Sharon Tracey, said: "He's proper brave, our Jack. There ain't no one braver than him in the whole of England and thing. He's our Essex prince."
