Habaneroman shuts down The Garlic Press

Funny story written by The San Francisco Onion

Friday, 15 May 2009

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Habaneroman says he's "hot under the collar" at some of the Garlic Press' submissions.

SAN FRANCISCO, CA - "Somebody had to do it," says Habaneroman, editor for TheSpoof.com. He says the Top-10,000,000 Internet site is one of the World's Best Spoof News Sources, and he intends to keep it that way.

The caliente columnist says he started to get annoyed when the Garlic Press jumped on the bandwagon, churning out story after story about British icons like Jade Goody, Susan Boyle, and the escapades of the man with the world's largest penis and the woman with the world's largest vagina, et al, just to get views. But then, says Habaneroman, things got just a little too personal.

"How many times do I have to sit through another story slandering Ann Coulter or Rush Limbaugh before I say enough is enough?" exclaimed the picante publisher, clearly exasperated. "I'm not sure who those people are, but I'm sure they don't deserve to have their names dragged through the mud every single day! I mean, enough with the relentless personal attacks already! It's just, well, it's uncalled for, that's what it is."

So Habaneroman did what he had to do.

He shut down the Garlic Press.

"I hate to resort to censorship, but we're trying to maintain a certain level of quality at the site," he explained. "Maybe the Garlic Press should leave spoof writing to the real professionals on the other side of the pond."

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