Written by Bureau

Thursday, 9 April 2009

image for Lindsey Lohan, Sam Ronson Split For Good?
"Kaput! It's finally kaput!"

"This whole thing has been an absolute hell," Lindsay Lohan reveals after her split from girlfriend Sam Ronson. "I feel like Alice In Wonderland and at the Mad Tea Party. That's what my life has been of late, a Mad Tea Party"

Lindsay's been more than down, she says she's down and out for right now but promises to get back up again. "They haven't counted to ten yet, have they?"

"That seems to be my life of late, taking it to 9!"

After months of an on again off again (no pun intended) fighting, spliting, reunions, flareups and back to fighting in the glare of the photographer's flashes, Lohan and Ronson are apparent, finally, finally finished.

Taking a page from a couple having problems on "Friends", she told members of the media, "We are taking a brief break so I can focus on myself."

At least papa Michael's happy. "What they had was very toxic. One or both were headed for a total disaster."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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