Thousands Flock to See "Weeping Goody"

Funny story written by The San Francisco Onion

Sunday, 5 April 2009

image for Thousands Flock to See "Weeping Goody"
Part of a crowd of thousands of pilgrims who have gathered to see the miraculous "Weeping Goody."

CHADAYAMANGALAM, INDIA (Kerala) - Welcome to the land of cashews, jackfruit, peppers, coconut and rubber, the legendary "Rock City," site of the giant boulder upon which Jatayu fell when Ravana cut his wings. A tourist town of about 25,000, located in SW India, Chadayamangalam is a popular tourist destination. Now it has become the destination of thousands of pilgrims flocking to see a weeping image of Jade Goody.

Dharachitra Vilapakaranarakta, 42, says her mother, 73, was very sick until the day Jade Goody lost her battle against cancer. Dharachitra says she had been tending to her mother for several weeks because she could not even get up from bed without assistance. On Jade's fateful day, an "elegant old lady with white hair, wearing the native dress sari" visited their home, asking for a glass of water. Dharachitra says that when she returned with the water, the woman had disappeared, leaving only her fragrance.

That is when her mother started to get better, Dharachitra told reporters, and it's also the day the poster of Jade Goody hanging in the bedroom of her daughter, 19, began to weep tears of blood. It occasionally sweats honey and fragrant oils as well, and these are collected and given to the pilgrims now arriving in droves, creating clamoring crowds often numbering in the thousands.

Dr. Samiksha Kalpana of the Marthoma College of Science and Technology says it's unlikely the stories are true, believing the "Weeping Goody" to be a fraud or hoax. She says DNA analysis of the blood in question should pinpoint the perpetrator of the hoax.

Prime Minister Gordon Brown has cited the weeping idol as proof Jade Goody is "a courageous woman both in life and death."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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