We hold no brief with invisible friends in the sky—not the nine choirs of angels, the eight maids a-milking, the heavenly hosts a-dancing, or the figments of anybody's fevered imagination. We are, however, fascinated with the Historical Jesus, the ap...
To the relief of many determined to believe in God, despite the lack of evidence of any participatory deity who intervenes in any noticeable way in the workings of the human world, Christian theologian Dr. Mortimer Lane of Nashville, Tennessee, has o...
The newest United States Supreme Court Justice, Brett Kavanaugh, reported that during the contentious confirmation hearings before the Senate Judiciary Committee during which he was forced to defend himself against accusations of sexual misconduct ma...
Mobile, AL - Well-respected local, Jamie McGinn, woke up on October 17th like it was any other day. Little did she know, her routine Saturday donut run would be far from normal. On her way back into the house from her trip to Dan's Donuts, she trippe...
Archaeologists digging near Jerusalem have unearthed what could be the find of the century... a document purporting to list the actual charges made against Jesus Christ. Jesus was formally arraigned at the house of the High Priest Caiaphas before a gathering of Scribes and officials belonging to the Jerusalem Sanhedrin council. The list of indictments was read out to the defendant who made...
Griffith, Indiana - Holy crap! The tears of a weeping madonna statue outside St Mary's Roamin Catlick Church have tested positive for avian post-digestive fecal matter, otherwise known as pigeon shit. All week parishioners had been flocking to th...
JACKASS, MS -- Seventy-eight-year-old Walter Williams has cheated the Grim Reaper. Pronounced "dead" five days ago by a doctor whose credentials are "under review" by the Amerikan Medical Association, Williams was on the embalming table, about to be...
Several incidents involving dubious relics have led to the setting up of "Ofrelic" by the Vatican. Recently a pilgrim who had queued for hours at the "Well of St. Patella" to cure knee ligament problems was fitted with a cheap ginger wig and sent...
New York - Some judges breakfasting at a Manhattan cafeteria close to next week's RICO racketeering and corruption lawsuit were gobsmacked this morning when an apparition of Ecuador Amazonbotch shyster lawyer Steven Donziger popped up on a slice of t...
Vatican City -- An offer by Pope Francis to reduce Purgatory time for Catholics who embrace the "miracle of social media" has led to a massive and sudden selloff of real estate in Purgatory. As a result, prices for Purgatory condos have been slas...
Vatican City -- As he retires as the mystical leader of the Catholic Church, Pope Benedict is being honored for the miracles he performed while pontiff. Among the amazing feats with which he is credited are these wonders: Converted the Pope Mobil...
Apparently cats aren't the only ones with nine lives. A woman in Kansas is lucky to be alive after dying eight times, and credits Justin Bieber for bringing her back. Marlene Wilson, 44, of Great Bend, Kansas, had been cleaning a hunting rifle...
CONVENT OF THE QUEER, WV (ABSNN) - The face of Republican Presidential nominee, Mitt Romney, "miraculously appeared" on a urinal mint, in the toilet of the Monk's Quarters, in this small Jesuit Convent tucked away in the foothills of west-central Wes...
An ancient fragment of papyrus has been discovered and it makes a thinly veiled reference to Jesus having a wife. It also says several things about Transformers building the Pyramids but that's apparently not as important as the Jesus thing. The s...
CHESTER, Pa. (WTFM) --- It was a hot, summer afternoon in mid-August, 1962, when a twelve-year-old Robert Tiller and his younger brother, Pete, decided they would bury a jar of pennies in their backyard. Two years later, they decided to dig it...
In what Irish-Americans are touting as a modern-day St. Patrick's Day miracle, Lower East Side New Yorker Mary McGarry discovered that there was even more beer in her home the morning AFTER her rollicking St. Paddy's Day party than there had been bef...
Washington, DC -- Republican presidential candidate Rick Santorum has declared his campaign to be "The Second Coming," after learning that his birth certificate identifies him as the Son of God. "I thought I might be related to Superman," Santorum...
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