London, England - High cheekboned actress Keira Knightley, leading lady in the legendary Hollywood saga, 'Pirates Of The Caribbean' tonight agreed to a second interview with a spoof writer following a rather embarrassing incident when a previous interviewer tried to cop a crafty glance down her top under the guise of a dropped pencil.
"Dirty old bastard," she hissed. Then: "Well hello. I'm Keira Knightley. What can I do for you?"
At this, this reporter tried to fend off a coronary infarction whilst gazing upon the beautiful English rose lady, he finally managed to splutter:
"It's about Morse's Pirate story, 'Below Decks'. Is it true that you'd be prepared to take a part in the movie version?"
"I'd love to take a part in it," the achingly beatiful stunner told us. "Just as long as they don't let Kate Beckinsale in on the project. She just looked too sexy in Van Helsing and quite frankly I could do without the competition."
We asked Ms Knightley to what lengths she would be prepared to go to, in order to secure a role in the projected movie production.
"How about a threesome with me, Morse, and BuckwheatsButt?" she told us.
Although we couldn't ascertain with any sense of seriousness how serious she really was.
"The last reporter I met tried to cop a crafty glance at my admittedly small but perfectly shaped boobies. Call it payback time."
At which point we made our excuses and left, not knowing whether or not Ms Knightley was being totally honest with us.
In fact, the entire episode was most probably a figment of somebody's fevered imagination. But we don't really know for certain. Either way.
More as we get it.
