Britney Spears Sawed In Half

Funny story written by Bureau

Wednesday, 25 February 2009

image for Britney Spears Sawed In Half
Britney, performing Before She Gets Sawed In Half

Sort of like a wayward career, Britney Spears is going to disappear into thin air-and then magically reappear, to her fans' ecstatic delight.

"Right away, she got into the boxes and into the magic contraptions to learn the stuff, and she's so excited about this tour and all the elements that are in it," illusionist-comedian, ALonzo, "the Misfit of Magic" (and former Saved by the Bell diner owner) who will be doing a several numbers with Spears on her Circus tour, tells E. News.

Asks if anything ever went wrong, Alonzo answered, "Once half the woman was accidentally shown. If this happens, let's hope it's Britney's upper half. But if it turns out that it's the bottom half, I'll quickly pull a rabbit out", he laughed.

The pop star will serve as Alonzo's assistant in the sawing-in-half bit.

"We're going to be doing the classics of magic but a little high-tech," he said. "We'll be doing a little dissection, transposition, a vanish, an appearance-and if I do a trick she doesn't just hold the props, she's actually getting inside the big boxes or I am slicing her up."

"It's still a little risky. She came out fine but had pigeon shit in her hair."

"Oh...and once she stepped out of the curtained cabinet where ther ewas no one before. Unfortunately, it had shifted forward from all the movement inside, and she stepped out into the air and fell off the stage, but she was OK."

Sounds a bit risky, which is perhaps why Team Spears decided to leave the hard tricks to a professional.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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