Author of potboilers, Nicholas Sparks entered new turf when he penned the boy meets rodent, boy loses rodent (up his ass) and then boy really loses rodent (dead you know). Now the incredible love journey of a gerbil up the rear view of a Hollywood star has come to the big screen.
Despite the controversial subject matter, film honors have been turning up like a pet on an exercise wheel. Top honors have been going to Butt Ranger the gerbil and his trainer, Cesar Milano of Vermin Whisperer fame. Runner up prizes are going to lead actor Richard Gere.
In an acceptance speech at the Golden Hamster Awards, Gere told the audience a funny story:
"So it seems like everybody has heard that I reported to an ER with a gerbil lodged in my rectum...But the true story is that that little agressive vixen practically had to rape me to find his burrow in a cold NYC winter. And the rest is history as we have finally reached the pinnacle of film excellence! BR , you'll be my fuck butty, ha, ha, forever!
