Osama Bin Laden announced today that he succeeded in penetrating the Cumcast SuperBall broadcast with one of his homemade bedroom videotapes.
Experts in terrorist broadcast analysis confirmed that the member waved about in the thirty second porno clip belongs to Osama. They explained that covert operations operatives have very precise records of bin Laden's voice, fingerprints and genital member, and miles of audiotape smuggled in from the caves of Afghanistan of Osama singing karaoke.
One agent revealed that he loves to sing Abba's greatest hits and once won a prize for his rendition of Dancing Queen. Fingerprints captured from numerous takeout cartons from Tony Roma's Pork Ribs deliveries helped build the large file identifying the most wanted terrorist.
As for the evidence that helped identify the genital member, spies from around the world confirmed that satellite photos of Osama acting out his heavenly reward in his simulated garden of earthly delights left little doubt that Osama's teenie weenie wiener made a Superbowl appearance.
