Before Obama had his tongue in Sarah's mouth and Cindy's lips had their collagen Budweiser injection, statutory rape assailant and future Bristol, Myer Palin's husband, Levi Johnston, chewed tobacco on the stage at the RNC! The father of the possible vice's grandchild even is said to have brought along his own silver spittoon from the Wasilla Bar and grill and Bible Church.
Republican defenders claimed immediately that he was chewing doublemint as a tribute to the Twin cities. When asked why the big bulge...they explained that he's a healthy young Republican man with plenty of testosterone. When critics pointed out that they didn't mean the bulge in his dungarees but in his cheek and the ring shaped protrusion in the boy's back pocket, the McCain hitmen were speechless for a moment.
They then replied:" Yeah...well... menthol monkey Barack smokes Kools! So There!!"