Sharon Stone is to star in a forthcoming release, Sharon And The Philosopher's Stone, Warmer Brothers announced today.
Miss Stone, who co-wrote the movie's screenplay, will be playing a tall, white-haired wizardess, Sharoff the Idiotic One, who mesmerises the world with her profound wisdom and views on life.
Flying past on her broomstick, she had this to say about the film: 'Yeah, like it's, ya know, wow time! I've got all my ideas into one made-for-hire-only movie. It's got stuff about karma, and China, and hurricanes in it, and in one scene, I turn a basically decent, peaceful people, of over a billion people, into some sort of evil Nazis for my own publicity!'
Sharon Stone astounded the philosophic world with her revolutionary karma theory, and this film is expected to be, if anything, even more simplistic. In Beijing, where authorities have already banned her pink soap products, because they're so awful, a spokesman for the Communist government said: 'Sharon Who?' And co-writer, authoress Joanna Rowling, speaking from her run down Pilton housing scheme flat in Edinburgh, commented: 'I had nearly finished my latest, until I heard of Sharon's ideas - I simply tore it up, and wrote a new one with her, that's how strongly she has changed things for all of us.'
Later this year, many are expecting Miss Stone to be awarded the Nobel Prize for Philosophy and World Affairs, such is her influence on scientists and politicians alike.