Anger Over Sharon Stone's Quake Remarks

Funny story written by matwil

Wednesday, 28 May 2008

image for Anger Over Sharon Stone's Quake Remarks
Her house is heavily armed

There was much anger today over actress Sharon Stone's remarks that an earthquake was 'bad karma.' She made this claim after a tremor hit southern California yesterday, but refused to take it back.

Speaking from her nearest Chinese restaurant, she said: 'Hey, it's like when, you know, you're not nice to people, bad things happen to you. Like, if you invade a Middle Eastern country, and nearly destroy it for oil, well, yeah, that means bad karma.'

But Californian Governor, Arnold Schwarzenegger, said this: 'Is not bad karma. Bad karma is sold at the Indian place next door.'

President George W. Bush, using an interpreter, said this: 'The war on karma will continue, until we run out of weapons of mass destruction.' But from Beijing, a PRC government spokeswoman said: 'We refuse to lower ourselves to the indignity of trying to make natural disasters and human suffering a political issue.'

Miss Stone is no stranger to making controversial remarks. In 1993 she claimed that German Jews 'brought it on themselves, man' about the Holocaust, and in 2007 she also said that the tsunami that killed thousands of people was 'like, showing those people they should have learned to swim faster.'

But Presidential hopeful, Barack Obama, added: 'If I get elected, I think I'll have Shazza as my V P, she has a good grasp of global politics. Well, better than George, anyway.' And Hillary Clinton, trying not to sound too Southern, said: 'Sharon's remarks are typical of this government's lack of healthcare plans. And -'.

Miss Stone had no further comments on her earthquake-tied-to-morality words, but her PR agent, Joe Glowbells, said: 'She's taking a few weeks' holiday, with the Dalai Lama, in London. There's another guy who understands the intricacies of world affairs.'

Chicken Hoi Sing was being burnt at the stake as we wrote this.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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