Blogger to Orlando Bloom "I'm Sorry"

Funny story written by Narwina Clark

Monday, 10 March 2008

Entertainment blogger Lamey Spitajones writes an open letter apology to British actor Orlando Bloom for "toxic" remark she made on her site a year ago. On the blog, named after her, she writes how she was wrong about blaming him for Kate Bosworth's troubles.

"I blamed him for Kate's problems. The coke habit, the starvation, and the constant need for attention. I thought it was all due to him, but I was wrong," she writes.

Recent photos of Bosworth leaving a burger joint in Sydney looking emaciated prompted Spitajones to change her view. "Seeing those photos put things into perspective. She was so thin, high, and desperately wanted the attention. It's pretty clear that Kate's problems are pretty deep and I was wrong to point the finger at Orlando. I admit that."

So what was the reason for blaming Orlando for a grown woman's choices? The age old reason: jealousy. "I really liked Orlando and I wanted him to like me. When I met him at a party I was covering and he didn't seem interested, I felt rejected. I was hurt and I struck out. I'm sorry," she goes on to say. Clearing the air seems to have done her wonders. "I feel better about myself for coming clean about this and hope he can forgive me," she concludes. Let us all hope so.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot