You thought that the Hollywood writers had gotten over their huff about DVD's et cetera, and were beginning to get going on what they do best, that is, make quick, thousand pound animations about talking animals for a huge profit... But you were wrong.
The Hollywood writers have in one group thrown another hurdle at our entertainment desires. They've all got writers block.
Talking to Mrs Sarah Wood, an expert in this field, she told The Spoof that "It's not suprising, they've just been on cruise holidays for the past few months, they've probably forgotten what a script looks like."
Nevertheless, big film studies like Warner Brothers and Universal are fighting back.
"You see," said an unconfirmed junior official speaking off the records, "We're, right, get this, we're just going to plaster together too previous scripts and re-cast, re-direct the whole thing!"
After a few more pints, the junior official was able to inform me of some of the proposed titles to be heading your way this year:
Rambo Almighty and the World of Tomorrow: In this hilarious spin-off, God (Martin Freeman) tells Rambo (Slyvestor Stalone) to warn the nation that there will be several plagues of locusts and other such strifes. Rambo goes about 'warning' people in his usual way, and the film ends (plot ruiners ahead!) with Martin Freeman admitting he's not God, but just a member of a secret World-Domination Multi-National Firm. However, by this time Rambo has destroyed all of New York through massive talking robots and it's up to another hilarious money-making spin-off to finish the story.
** (two stars)
Meet the Moore's: Another hilarious spin-off, fusing the highly acclaimed Meet the Fockers with Michael Moore's raw, powerful, gritty and anti-Bush style of eye-opening documentary. In 'Meet the Moore's', Michael Moore does a gritty documentary about his hilarious family, and all the strange and highly unusual things that happen in his day-to-day life and relationships.
*** (three stars)
Help! I'm a Fish, Finding Nemo in a Car, Going Over the Hedge, Out of Season and Finally Being Flushed Away!: Dreamworks, Pixar and Disney stoop to an all-time low with this hilarious blend of practically every talking animal/inanimate object film they've ever done.
I won't even bother telling you the plotline, firstly because you wouldn't believe or understand it, secondly because the junior official was lying passed out on the floor.
* (one star)
There have also been rumours of Mel Gibson directing a film set in Ireland based on a combination of 'The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen' and The Spoof.com Movie. This will be entitled, 'The League of Extraordinary Spoofers', for obvious reasons, and will mainly consist of Captain Nemo trying to calm down a contingent of highly satirical, bored, sarcastic spoofers, running around his submarine.
****** (six stars)
Jaffa Forbes
(Apologizes for any spelling mistakes or the fact this article was based on no research whatsoever.)
