Washington AC/DC - (Bad Ass Mess): The rule of omerta has descended on Capitol Hill following the news that Oscar nominee and Brokeback Mountain star Heath Ledger was found dead at home in Manhattan today.
NYPD cops investigating the incident were quick to stress a pronounced lack of visible foul play and blamed prescription drugs, other narcotics and/or natural causes as the reason for the actor's death.
Meanwhile in Washington AC/DC the news sent shudders down the backs of the many hundreds of spineless individuals secretly touched by the 28 year old Australian's gay cowboy performance.
Sources close to ex-Florida 16th District Representative Mark Foley barricaded themselves behind weighty legalese and refused to speak to the press.
And ex-Bush mouthpiece Tony Snow was nowhere to be found when reporters queued up outside his George Town residence to ask for comments.
Elsewhere in Colorado Springs, Colorado former Pastor Ted Haggard's chums merely gulped at the news before scurrying off to a prayer meeting to burn a few pink candles while awaiting divine intercession at the sheer incomprehension of it all.
Ledger's family were quick to inform the media that the tragedy was in no ways comparable to the death of Anna Nicole Smith or any other puzzling drug-related incident such as Marilyn Monroe's inexplicable demise.
The actor was found dead in his apartment at 1526 (2026 GMT) on Tuesday and an autopsy is underway.