Nassau, Bahamas - (Reuterus & Ass): Less than three weeks from the first anniversary of Anna Nicole Smith's untimely death at the Seminole Hard Northern Rock Hotel in Hollywood, Florida, the Governor of the Bahamas has ordered a 24/7 armed guard around the former Playboy centerfold's grave following police reports of trophy hunters hellbent on necrophiliac exhumations shortly after the 7 February New Moon.
Smith, 39, was buried in a sealed lead coffin weighed down with reinforced concrete breeze blocks after her lawyers insisted on all necessary precautions being taken to thwart souvenir seekers from indulging in a spot of excavation to hack off a limb or two and then flog them off on the internet.
"After the fiasco of grave-robbers selling Alistair Cooke's limbs to a tissue-recovery firm, we're taking no chances," Smith's former attorney said today.
"Even a tooth from a celebrity like Anna Nicole, one year on after her death, is still worth anything from half a million dollats upwards in the right market," the source continued.
"As for her silicone breast implants, they're not biodegradeable before 2025 and could fetch anything in the region of $1 million each on the internet.
"Ms Smith's legal executors have been inundated with offers for her dental and bone remains.
"Even her hair, in its present interred condition, could fetch up to $5 million for a good handful. And any pubic tresses remnants still in existence - well sky's the limit.
"Fortunately the Nassau authorities have wised up to these trophy pirates and will exercise a shoot on sight policy, albeit with rubber bullets."
Anna Nicole Smith died on 9 February 2007.
RIP.
