Recently, it has become quite de riguer for washed up/drugged up/dead celebrities to attempt a momentous comeback in order to get back into the limelight. Memorable examples include Peter Andre ("the most unwelcome comeback since Jimmy Hendrix's vomit -Mark Lamaar), Britney Spears (not anymore, love, please) and the whole of the Rolling Stones, who have kept coming back like a legion of undead since 1982.
One of the most surprising of these comebacks however, is one Adolf Hitler.
Hitler, aged 118, has recently stated in a press conference that he will return.
"I have decided zat being in hiding vas not good vor miner public image, and zat mine public und I should get closer so zat we can understand each ozzer better and zat I can get a better idea of vat miner people vant."
When asked about whether his opinions had changed regarding "ethnic cleansing" he replied: "Yes, ze have. Now, instead of ze whole Auswitchz business, i use Daz:Ethnic Cleanser." Some assumed Hitler was selling out at this point, to which he replied "Only joking".
Nobody laughed at what was a typical German joke.
Critics are saying this return will perhaps hail the start of a Third World War, but the Ministry of Defence is sceptical.One ministry official was quoted as saying "Two World Wars, one world cup. We maybe be crap at our national sport [football] but we are much better at their national sport [war]."
And what does the Jewish community think of the return? "I'm shaking in my skull-cap", quoted an anonymous Rabbi as he was stopped outside a synagogue.
So there you have it, no one really gives a toss.
