Most of the people in town have CB stations in their homes because it had been difficult for them to keep home phones. Everybody in town that has a CB station was on the air last night.
Local maven Clara D. was rushed to the hospital with a raccoon stuck in her anus. She could not keep still as the ambulance roared into the night taking her to the hospital to remove the (barely conscious when he was removed) animal.
The emergency room nurse did not even looked phased as she took the medical history of the flopping Clara. "She can't find a comfortable position since she lured the 'coon up her ass with food scraps," said an unnamed relative. "She was always trying to get somebody to 'touch her there'".
"A 'coon ... that's a big MF somebody pointed out. Just how big is this b....'s ass?"
It will be some time before she wants somebody to 'touch her there' again was the conjecture heard from many in the waiting room. Ms. D. was unavailable for comment as the recovery room nurse could not stop laughing long enough to take the necessary information to get us in to see her before she 'was called away' by a doctor who seemed to be reprimanding her.
The ambulance driver could be seen trying to smother a laugh as he rushed away from this reporter but the story had to be told.