Stephen King ejected from bookstore for vandalism

Funny story written by queen mudder

Thursday, 16 August 2007

image for Stephen King ejected from bookstore for vandalism
King apparently wrote the 'F' word inside five copies of his latest offering

Alice Bed Springs, Australia - (Ass Mess): Horror fiction writer Stephen King was finally nabbed by an Australian bookstore and ejected from the premises after CCTV caught him 'wantonly scribbling' inside display items at an Alice Springs shop.

"This was a major act of vandalism," bookstore owner Baz Bongo said today.

"We had a tip off last week that there's this guy pretending to be a world famous author, making unannounced visits to shops in the area and leaving disgusting written messages inside first editions of our top best sellers.

"Messages like 'Congratulations on your superb eclectic taste in literature'.

"Literature? I ask you.

"So we laid on a few extra cameras and sure enough it didn't take long before he targetted our store."

The author is best known for works such as Carrie, The Shining and Misery.

When police officers arrived and saw the evidence he was taken away and charged with five counts of vandalism and destruction of property.

His latest effort, a novel called Lisey's Story is struggling in the ratings.

The bookstore has said the damaged books will be incinerated "unless somebody makes us an offer, maybe for sale at auction on the internet.

"Round these parts it's common for writers to visit stores, check if their books are on the shelves and maybe pen something totally gross or disgusting on the inside of the dust jacket, especially if their books are performing badly in the sales figures.

"Frankly, it's embarrassing."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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