The Long Arm of the Law

Funny story written by david alsatian

Monday, 6 August 2007

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HOLLYWOOD pretty boy Jude Law last night stunned the entertainment industry by revealing his left arm is a massive TWO inches longer than his right.

The shock discovery came in a routine check by studio doctors as Law auditioned for his latest role - the starring role in a biopic of Sir Jimmy Saville.

A surprised Law, 45, admitted: "I was always a bit concerned that I could scratch my nads easily with my left hand but it was always a bit of a struggle coming in from the right."

The shock news has all but ended Law's dream of playing his hero Saville on the big screen.
Director Martin Scorcese said: "I can't have someone hanging a Jim'll Fix It Medal on a young child's neck while their other arm flops about pathetically in envy.

"This will break Jude's heart but I didn't become an Oscar-winning director without a bit of ball-busting."

The sought-after Saville role now seems set to go to new James Bond Daniel Craig.
The 007-star has been a fan of Sir Jimmy since he fixed it for a 10-year-old Craig to join the West Midlands Police force's anti-terrorism branch for a day.

Craig admitted: "I managed to beat a confession out of an Irishman who had spent the last two days squatting in darkness with a bag over his head. What a laugh."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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