Cruise biopic filming banned in hysteric Berlin district

Funny story written by queen mudder

Wednesday, 4 July 2007

image for Cruise biopic filming banned in hysteric Berlin district
The film is about Cruise's grandpa Claus von Stauffenberg

Berlin - (Ass Mess): The German state authorities have banned Tom Cruise and his film crew from the Bendlerblock area of Berlin which is a site of "special national and hysterical interest" where an army colonel was executed in World War II.

Cruise and his scientology chums are making the movie "Valkyrie" about the actor's grandfather Colonel Claus von Stauffenberg who was executed after plotting to assassinate Hitler in 1944.

Germany's finance ministry said the ban from access to military sites is stop Cruise flaming a delicate stand-off situation whereby the dominant European Union tolerates the Scientology cult but the right wing Christian Democratic Co-Alition won't have it making money on it own home turf.

If the film crew have to pack up and go home the fiasco could have serious financial implications to backers Merrill Lynch Bank which has loaned Cruise $200 million of their money to do a whitewash job on the would-be Hitler assassin.

John Revolta has been asked to intervene.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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