Written by queen mudder

Tuesday, 12 June 2007

image for Jail medics blame Paris ADD on dodgy hair extension glue seepage
ADD 'maybe caused by hair extension adhesive'

Los Angeles - (Ass Mess): Paris Hilton's reported Attention Deficit Disorder may have been caused by toxic seepage from the glue that attaches her 30 inch long peroxide hair extensions to her scalp according to medical sources at Lynwood Jail where the hotel heiress is incarcerated.

Toxicology reports from the facility's medical wing have said that blood and urine analysis shows a build-up of hairdressing adhesives in Hilton's system "which may have caused the brain's neural transimtters to malfunction".

"ADD is a very fragile diagnosis at the best of times," a prison shrink told the press today.

"A toxic personality can be compunded by the presence of any number of adulterants, chiefly cocaine, barbturates, alcohol, nicotine, crystal meth etc.

"We're checking to see just how much adhesive may have penetrated Ms Hilton's scalp and found its way into her bloodstream and neural synapses.

"If the tests are positive this could have major implications for the entire hairdressing industry."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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