Whoopi Exposed as Fraud

Funny story written by Leanna Lawrence McCormick

Saturday, 31 January 2004

image for Whoopi Exposed as Fraud
The Oscar-winning actress could not be reached for comment.

Hollywood, CA-- Slim-fast president Ted McNeeley released an official statement detailing the dissolution of contract with former spokesperson Whoopi Goldberg.

Goldberg has appeared in a handful of Slim-fast ads, holding up too-large jeans and calling herself a "big loser" while encouraging consumers to become "big losers" too. "The idea was that Whoopi would actually be on the Slim-fast plan and we would chronicle her weight-loss progress through a series of commercials," said McNeeley. "She lost 25 pounds and went down two sizes in jeans, so we thought it was going pretty well."

The breech of contract termination was announced when McNeeley discovered Goldberg had simply bought extra large pants for the ad and that the weight loss was from cutting three inches off her hair.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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