Jethro Bodine Builds Nevada Casino

Funny story written by Jalapenoman

Monday, 28 May 2007

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Jethro promises all new gaming at his upcoming casino

Jethro Bodine, nephew of oil billionaire Jed Clampett, is building a new Nevada casino in Carson City. He hopes to begin construction soon on the new facility.

In an exclusive interview at his Beverly Hills mansion, this reporter sat down with Bodine and learned the following:

"We's gonna have us a real nice place. It's gonna have a couple of cement ponds with purdy girls in their bathin' suits and I'm gonna ask that sports magazine to shoot their next bathin' suit issue at my spot so I can get real up close with them girls."

"I gived up a few years back on bein a brain surgeon and I retired as a double naught spy and a Hollywood director, so I figured that I'd use my educashun to build this. I ain't braggin', but I done gradjuated from the sixth grade."

"I fugure we'll put granny in the kitchen to cook up the vittles for the restaurants. There ain't to many wild possums out here in Nevada to cook, but I'm sure we'll get enough road kill to keep the folks happy."

"Ellie May is gonna have her critters doin' circus acts like them other fancy casino places."

"Mr. Drysdale said that casinos make lots of money and that this was a good investment for us, so he actually let us have a little bit from the petty cash. I think he only gave in when Miss Jane threatened to roll her wheel chair over his oxygen tube again."

"We really hope that Carson City's most famous folks will come by for the opening. I invited Ben and Adam and Hoss and Little Joe, but they ain't got back to me yet to tell me if'n they'd leave the Ponderosa and come on down and sit a spell."

"I'm also gonna ask the President and Larry the Cable guy to come to the opening, cuz they're the smartest folks I know!"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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