Paris Hilton Says Goodbye to Love, Jail, and Publicist

Funny story written by Cal Jennings

Monday, 7 May 2007

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Paris Hilton Says Goodbye to Love

CCN (Crazy Cal News) - California - Paris Hilton said "Goodbye to Love," jail, and her publicist. She is now thinking about paying Britney Spears to work with Richard Carpenter to do a remake of the famous song make popular by Karen Carpenter.

She said, "I didn't know I was violating probation by driving on a suspended license because her publicist, Elliot Mintz, told me I could get behind the wheel for a picture. Don't the police make exceptions for rich airheads, anyway?"

"It's all my publisher's fault," cried Paris, refusing to take any of the responsibility herself. "If he hadn't told me I could get behind the wheel for a picture, I wouldn't have started driving. Some lover he turned out to be! I'm saying goodbye to love, jail, AND my publicist."

The record, staring both Britney Spears and Richard Carpenter, who will do backup vocals on the record, should be released sometime this August. No details on how much the record is costing Ms. Hilton. The release will feature the Paris Hilton sex tape for the video sequence.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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