Passengers reach for the sickbag as Heather Mills dances mile high

Funny story written by queen mudder

Friday, 20 April 2007

image for Passengers reach for the sickbag as Heather Mills dances mile high
Dancing in the aisles: nightmare traveller Heather Mills

Atlantic Ocean - (Ass Mess): It's every passenger's top nightmare. A ten hour non-stop flight from LA to London and the on board entertainment system suddenly fails. Then who should spring up from their first class seat and offer to cheer up the weary travellers but Heather Mills. Offering to perform a mile-high tango by way of consolation.

Yesterday Virgin Airlines passengers were subjected to a lengthy display of Heather's impromptu dancing performance.

And despite catcalls of 'pack it in' and 'you exhibitionist t**t' the 39 year old animal rights activist danced on with her tango partner Jonathan Roberts until restrained by crew and told that too much of that sort of excitement could result in them being sued for harassment.

But Mills remained unrepentant.

"Just because the cameras weren't rolling and there was no music doesn't mean my audience doesn't love me," Heather protested.

Today the airline is rumored to be facing multiple lawsuits as aggrieved first class travellers cosult their lawyers and head in droves for other transatlantic operators who guarantee Heather-free flights.

"At least she didn't strip off and perform something unusual with that prosthetic leg of hers," said a Virgin PR. "That could have landed us in a whole lot worse trouble."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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