News in today has revealed that Madonna is planning to take baby David back to Malawi in an attempt to get her money back. A source close to the ancient pop singer with pointed breasts, told us that she had been very disappointed with her purchase and is considering suing baby David's destitute father under the Trade Descriptions act.
We were told that the callous bitch thought that she was purchasing Baby David, the young star of BBC sitcom The Royle Family. After several months of trying to teach the child to say "My arse" with little success, she was informed that the former African embryo was not who she thought he was.
David's father has assured TheSpoof.com that the mix up was entirely unintentional and that he originally advertised the child as Damian from Only Fools an Horses.
Legal experts who we spoke to said they couldn't be bloody bothered, although one of them did buy Ray of Light on Amazon.
