Shoreditch, London - (Ass Mess): A giant 250 sq ft poster of eighties pop music icon Madonna has started weeping 'tears of bile' during a Holy Week promotion by East London rag trade outlet H&M.
The poster, dubbed 'the Madonna of the Seven Orifices', was erected by BlowUp Media outside the Shoreditch store to publicise the retailer's cheap 'n' tacky new Spring range of clothing that Vague! magazine has said reduces female sartoriality to new depths of ridicule.
Yesterday the singer's image began to ooze a greenish-yellow bile-like substance from her eyes prompting spontaneous projectile vomiting among customers.
City retail analysts have been quick to express caution that the Madonna tears are in any way miraculous:
"Maybe she's just plain livid at not getting the Top Shop contract awarded to Kate Moss," a fashion PR today told the press.
"We think she should stick to the forty-something market where at least she's still appreciated by the panty-girdle generation."