Satire Writer Arrested for Perverse Acts with Dogs

Funny story written by Throckmorton Turdblossom

Tuesday, 10 April 2007


The funny story you are trying to access may cause offense, may be in poor taste, or may contain subject matter of a graphic nature. This story was written as a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you wish to back out now, please click here to go back to the home page.

image for Satire Writer Arrested for Perverse Acts with Dogs
Embarrased dogs in North Carolina hid their privates from "The King"

A satire writer and school teacher from Durham, North Carolina has been arrested for carrying on lewd sexual acts with animals. The man, referring to himself as "The King" was running through a park Easter weekend, picking up peoples' dogs as they walked them, and measuring the size of their penis.

If it was nine inches or larger, he attempted to purchase the animal. For those less well endowed dogs, he would scream: "what are you, oriental?" Then, he would throw the dog at the owner and demand that they buy a sack of dirt from him.

At the arraignment, he was asked by the judge why he was selling the dirt to owners of dogs with smaller genitalia. King responded that "it is my miracle dirt and can make anything grow. It's full of rotten trees and comes from the river bank. Try my soil! I even carry it around in my old pick-up!"

When the judge asked him why he wanted dogs with larger penises, he responded by saying that "I can't win at Westminster or Eukanuba if my doggy's got a dainy ding-a-ling!"

The man known only as King did pass a breathalizer test and there was no evidence of drug use. As he was being taken away to the prison to await trial, he was heard to yell: "Bucky? Bucky! I should have listened to you! I should have looked for dogs with shaved vaginas!"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more