Mary-Kate & Ashley Olsen Getting Boob Jobs

Funny story written by Moose&Squirell

Tuesday, 3 April 2007


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HOLLYWOOD, CALIFORNIA--(TEENS BEAT)The media misquoted us when we said, "Heaven KNOWS these Pair of Boobs need cosmetic surgery", Mary-Kate shrills and giggles "We didn't mean "NOSE" as in nose job, We meant "KNOWS" as in knowledge. We were talking about breast implants, silly boyz!" Ashley bumps heads with her sister and remarks, "Pair of Boobs wasn't about us, it was about GETTING a large pair of Boobs."

America's sweethearts are showing that they are all grown up now, but, not quite all filled out yet, "We think it's important to look more womanly so people can take us girls more seriously." Ashley adds with a nod.

The Olsen twins have reportedly consulted plastic surgeon to the stars, Dr. Hugh "Perky" Gazongas, from the "Thanks for the Mammaries" Breast Enlargement Clinic of Beverly Hills. Dr. Gazongas told us, "I spoke to the twins...& the girls and explained to them that I don't want you to look at me as some kind of Balloon peddler looking to squeeze you for money. I want you to put your assets to good use & I reassure that both of you will be in good hands...good...warm...hands"

"Speaking philosophically, When women come a knocking at our door with the idea of enlarging their Dairy section, I try not to unknowingly implant the wrong ideas in their melons. Silicone Wazoos are just not our style here." shares Dr. Gazongas staring out at the beautiful rolling hills from his office window.

"I can still see trepidation in both Mary-Kate and Ashley's eyes, asking if they were doing the right thing & if the operation would be a success, I looked reassuringly at both of them and I said "Can we do this?! Yes we can...can." The surgery is scheduled for mid-Summer.

A source told us at Teen Beats magazine: "Ashley has always thought her jugs looked half empty, so she wanted to get them filled. When she spoke to her sister about it, she also welcomed the idea. They both enjoy changing their looks & believe this would make them look more polished. The twins have always loved Poland."

Mary-Kate & Ashley wait eagerly for their new transformation and added that, "After surgery and everything is all said & done, we won't be bumping heads any more...We'll be bumping Boobs!" That's for sure.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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