LOS ANGELES - (Satire News) - The Osbourne's (Ozzy and Sharon) are headed down the Big D path (divorce).
Sharon says that she has had it with her space cadet husband constantly cutting down her hair, her cellulite thighs, her closed mind, and her dry inverted hooha.
The 69-year-old wife of the musician who was once known as "The Prince of Darkness" says that Ozzy is now known as "The Juiced Up Joker of Hell."
Sharon recently told Anderson Cooper, that Ozzy recently told her that when he grows up, he wants to be just like his perverted idol, Donald Jonathan Erasmus Trump.
Mrs. Osbourne noted that Ozzy is so hopped up on all kinds of shit that the former front man with Black Sabbath can't even count to three without pausing for 25 seconds.
"Ozzy" says Sharon, as she rolls her eyes, "cannot even remember his birthday, his middle name (Mikey), or if he is circumcised or not.
Meanwhile, the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame is considering asking him to return his Hall of Fame award because he has constantly and viciously attacked fellow award winners like Paul McCartney, Beyonce, The Beach Boys, Shania Twain, and rap artist Sista Frizzle Frazzle.
