Man looking forward to hearing Coldplay's next album

Written by Ben Macnair

Saturday, 2 November 2019

image for Man looking forward to hearing Coldplay's next album
Oohh, I just love myself a little bit of Coldplay.

Gary Johnson, a 48-year-old married man from Chutney on the Fritz, has claimed that his highlight for the year is the release of Coldplay's new album.

The circular music carrier, with an obscure neo-intellectual name, is set to hit the record emporia of the country before Christmas, and will find its way onto the Christmas list of many people, whether or not they want it to.

Although Gary Johnson is a genuine music fan, he also has a soft spot for Coldplay, and has inflicted the tepid rock and roll sound on his wife, Louise, and children Weetabix and Allsort, for years.

'Gary likes his music with a bit of beat, but I much prefer something gentle and soothing, like Enya' said 17-year-old Weetabix, who his parent christened Steve.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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