Paris Hilton hospitalized for Boredom

Written by obz

Monday, 5 February 2007

The Spoof!'s invasive video cameras recorded it all. The grizzly (although it wasn't grizzly it was more gradual than violent but the editors said the story needed punching up, whatever that is) moments of Paris Hiltons' descent into boredom. Sitting in an overpriced wingback chair, jewel encrusted sewing basket on her lap, she was knitting a champagne flute cozy for one of her drunken friends when she dropped her knitting needles, sighed and looked out the window.

Without much interest she picked up one of several cameras from the table by the chair, held it at arms length and took several pictures of herself, almost enjoying the camera flash but not quite. She put on a CD of people shouting her name and she tried taking more pictures of herself but it seemed too much trouble so she dropped the camera.

Cranking up the CD, she moved to the wall of mirrors and began striking poses saying, "That's Hot" and "No, we are still friends."

Later in the day Paris was found by someone who is not hot but was given a job in the house to clean things.

She was rushed to the "He's single, He's Jewish AND He's a Doctor Hospital" where she was pronounced border line bored to tears. Doctors said she would have been bored to tears but she did not have her makeup people with she was afraid her makeup would run if she cried.
In her suite she was given a diet pill, a cracker and a crystal goblet of water, refusing any food with calories.

Paris then spent the next two hours looking through the Big Book of Purse Size Animals when she had a idea, which hurt, so she took an aspirin, first checking the label for calories.

She thought she might not be bored, which was hot. The sun was still up. She was not bored, she was early. Having lost her cell phone again she had a employee person call some other people that did makeup and clothes and rushed out of her suite stopping to pose only twice, because she was in a hurry, before taking the limo home to get ready for another night of playing with those nice camera owners. She told this reporter she hoped she could find the purse with her pet dog in it as it liked cameras too.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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