In a surprising development, Union members accepted the less than generous new settlement offer from Raytheon execution-I mean -executives. The one thing both sides could agree on was the indispensable role of their retarded workers. Raytheon VP Billy "The Bomber" Masterblaster admitted that the new offer came because retarded workers kept nagging him about the missing strikers. "Most scabs and non-striking workers (SLUGS) couldn't give a shit where Joe and Josephine Blow went but these delayed folks are loyal and they really missed both Josephine and Joe".
Union leaders echoed the same sentiments:"We wanted to screw the man with a much longer strike", Tony "The Pencil" Mastrolongo complained," But those goofy bastards kept coming out on the picket line begging us to come back to work. How can you say no to "Corky!".
Non-striking workers will receive the same bonuses and benefits won by striking union members who sacrificed 10 weeks without pay and long hours on the picket line. When asked how they felt about this outcome,spokesperson for their organization, Strikeless Union of Grafters(SLUGS), Larry "Loungechair" Parasitikos asked: "Feel? Feel what!? Whatdya think we're retarded?!".