Written by Monkey Woods

Saturday, 2 June 2018

image for Man Admits Strange Fetish
Just imagine how these two wonderful colors clash against each other in the refrigerator!

A man who should know better, because he is aware of just how cutting and judgmental people can be about such things, has admitted to having a strange fetish - the colored tops of plastic drinking bottles.

Moys Kenwood, 54, says he is "oddly attracted" to the wonderful assortment of beautiful colors of the circular, plastic bottletops, and claims he has the beginnings of a collection.

"Many of them are water bottletops. I have green, pink, white, of course, black, and two shades of blue - royal blue, and one which I like to think of as 'aquamarine'. They're so lovely, and strangely hypnotic!"

The mental case has been collecting the tops for about two months, he thinks, and went on enthusing about the bottletops from flavored drinks:

"Yes, that's right. I also have some from drinks of orange juice (orange), green tea (yellow), and - though I know these things can change at any moment - my personal favorite right now, red grape juice (purple)."

Kenwood claims that, when the original drink has been drunk, he carefully removes all traces of the packaging labels in hot water. Then, he uses the bottles to store water in his refrigerator, meaning that he can enjoy refreshing, chilled water at any time of day or night, and out of a bottle with an exotic-looking bottletop!

"Yes, that's right! If I fancy a nice, invigorating drink in the middle of a hot, balmy night, I can open the refrigerator door and select from a multitude of differently-colored bottletops! I swear, to me, the water tastes so much better when it comes out of a bottle with a purple top!"

Neighbors regarded each other with wry looks on their faces.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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