Hotel Heiress to Wed Motel Heir

Written by Vlad D.M. Paylaw

Monday, 25 August 2014


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Alfred Hitchcock, Paris Hilton, Bates Motel, "Psycho" screenshot

Paris "The Heiress" Hilton, in her typical understated fashion, called a press conference this morning to announce her upcoming marriage to Norman "Psycho" Bates.

"We have so much in common," she gushed, "what with my family's ties to the hotel biz and his family's ties to a remote California motel!"

When asked if the public could expect to see an internet sex video of the couple anytime soon, Hilton enthusiastically proclaimed: "Yes! We leaked one to the web this morning. We hope you all enjoy it," then added, dreamily, "Especially the shower scene! My Normie can be such a tiger in the shower!"

Bates proceeded: "This won't be my first time on film, but I don't much like to talk about my previous roles."

At this point, Hilton cut the conference short. "I hate to be rude," she apologized, "but Normie and I have a plane to catch. He's promised to take me home where I can finally meet his mother. I'm so excited!"

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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