Written by Mister Meaner

Saturday, 21 April 2018

image for Dale Winton To Be Given State Funeral
He's made his last Trolley Dash

Dale Winton, the megasuperstar television host, who died earlier this week, is to be given a State Funeral, it was revealed to me down the boozer.

Winton, 62, was the host of ITV's 'Supermarket Sweep' and the BBC's National Lottery vehicle 'In It To Win It', and was a firm favourite with everyone who loved limp-wristed faggots who cynically use campness to promote themselves as 'funny-boys'.

Ever since Frankie Howard started the craze in the 1960s, there has been a long line of 'comedians' who have 'travelled the same route', and used campness as a way to the public's heart. John Inman, the King of Camp, took things to a new level in 'Are You Being Served?', but others, more recently, have been rather overbearing with their use of the Camp Card - Alan Carr, Graham Norton and the now-dead Winton at the forefront of these.

Buckingham Palace officials have said the Queen, herself, gave the order for Winton's funeral arrangements.

Winton's fans have said in a group statement on Facebook that they will pay tribute to the 'star' by filing past his coffin pushing trolleys as a nod to the sterling work he did as host of 'Supermarket Sweep'.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Dale Winton




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