Paris Hilton To Eat Ice Cream Cone in 2007!

Written by Ed E. Druckman

Tuesday, 19 December 2006

image for Paris Hilton To Eat Ice Cream Cone in 2007!
They're going to love Paris eating a Baskin & Robbins ice cream cone

Los Angeles--CA) Super Bowl fans will get a treat this year, at least those who liked Paris Hilton eating a Carl's Jr. burger. "They're going to love Paris eating a Baskin & Robbins ice cream cone," so says Baskin & Robbins Senior Vice President of Cone Brand Management, Charles "Chuck" Tannert. Tannert was sold "even before she had both lips wrapped around a scoop of traditional vanilla."

And focus groups seem to bear him out. In a control of two male groups, aged 13-34, separately shown the Carl's Jr. and Baskin & Robbins spots, each having the products in front of them, the male group shown the Paris Robbins spot had a cholesterol count of 500, while the Carl's spot barely registered a 350. "I'm not saying Carl's is an inferior nutritional value," Tannert was quick to add. "But even I look at that spot, and man--I just want ice cream!" Between "power eating" Jamoca Almond Fudge and before having a stroke, one of the focus group participants seemed to agree, simply saying: "Holy (expletive)! She's (expletive) a friggin' ice cream cone."

The spot is set to air three times during the game. But the spot wasn't without controversy. Tannert admitted. "Originally, Paris was going to be doing a vanilla cone, but Jesse Jackson and his Rainbow Coalition threatened to boycott Baskin & Robbins because of the racist implication. We were going to strike a compromise by having chocolate sprinkles, but the sound guy had issues. It looked like a melt down--HA. Get it? Until Paris, herself, stepped in. She just said: 'No. I want chocolate.' Now, based on that, I defy anyone to tell me she's just a dumb blond."

Rumors that Carl's Jr. is offering a mid seven-figure deal to use Paris' tongue as the pole for a MTV 2007 Daytona Spring Break Onion Ring toss event have yet to be confirmed.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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