Looking resplendent in what can only be described as an upmarket bin liner and a pair of black Tesco tights, Royal serial baby maker, The Duchess of Lust and her six month bump have been wheeled out to cheer up the masses and divert their attention from Prince Randy Andy's alleged underage sexual trysts.
Having miraculously recovered from the gut wrenching 'technicoloured yawn syndrome' so uncommon to women during pregnancy, Palace officials hastily decided to send our six-month-gone Kate on walkabouts as soon as possible. Meanwhile, gullible cuckold Wills has been given the chore of babysitting sprog one, namely Damien, totally oblivious that he is nursing his own siblings brat.
Insiders at the Palace have indicated that the next Royal parasite could also belong to Prince Haribo although betting is also heavy on it being a rank outsider, possibly even an unknown commoner! There are also wild rumours circulating that Phil the Greek could be the donor but senior Palace staff are not so keen to consider this due in part to Phil's age plus the fact that Liz flushed his secret stash of Viagra down the Royal bogs months ago after catching him banging yet another chambermaid.
Therefore, as Kate waddles about from one engagement to the next like the wandering fashion show she has become, the Palace are safe in the knowledge that Randy Andy's antics will simply fade away, thus saving countless millions in legal fees!
