Written by Jalapenoman

Wednesday, 16 November 2005

image for Michael Jackson Uses The Ladies Room
Michael Jackson was caught in a Bahrain ladies room

Michael Jackson entered the ladies room of a Middle Eastern shopping mall, put on some make-up at the mirror, and left. Afterwards, he said that he had not understood the symbol on the door and was confused by it. Jackson explained that his visit to the "wrong" bathroom was just an accident.

While most of the Arabic people in the mall recognized the fact that Jackson was not interested in women and did not sneak into the ladies room as a voyueristic act, they were curious to know if he visited the room because he has had another cosmetic surgery "down south." Speculation became rampant in the food court that Jackson has now become a "sitter" instead of a "stander."

Abdullah Hassam, store clerk at Veils Are Us in the mall where the incident occured, was willing to be interviewed. "Oh yes, it is true that MIcheal went into the ladies room. He entered it after purchasing an ivory sequined veil in my shop. SInce we all know he really likes boys, I am wondering if he has not become a girl. Maybe this way, when he invites the boys to his bed, we will all think that he is just another slutty American woman and not another perverted American man."

Hassam's wife was in the restroom at the time and witnessed the whole incident. As he would not allow her to speak with a Western male reporter, he did relay to us what she had told him. "He walked in, chose and used a stall, and then went to the mirrors. He applied some lipstick and corrected some fault with his eye liner. On his way out the door, he said something that my wife did not fully understand as she does not speak English. The only word she recognized was "tampon.""

After running from a crowd that recognized him leaving the bathroom, Jackson went and hid out in an athletic/sporting goods store, where he admired the jogging bras and the women's workout suits. Police and security guards kept reporters from approaching him to ask for his version of the story.

Jackson's father recently reported that his son planned on leaving the United States and only returning to his Neverland Ranch or to see his family periodically. Apparently, the singer no longer feels comfortable in his homeland.

This whole incident raises more questions about the mysterious pop singer. If he has had himself "Bobbitized," speculation would shift into what he would call himself (Michelle Jackson? Michaela Jackson? Mickie Jackson?). Also, if he does chose to live in the Arab world, would he don the robes, veils, and other coverings that go with being a woman in the Moslem world? What percentage of the transgender operation has taken place and where was it conducted?

Repeated calls to the Jackson family for clarification and comment were ignored.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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