Cheryl Cole channels 'I Never Promised You A Rose Garden' butt tattoo

Written by queen mudder

Sunday, 25 August 2013

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image for Cheryl Cole channels 'I Never Promised You A Rose Garden' butt tattoo
I could sing you a tune or promise you the moon...

Hesperia, California - Debuting the stunning floral butt motif this weekend recording artist Cheryl Cole said it would feature on the front of her forthcoming 'Bed Of Roses' 70s tribute album, to be released next month.

The swirls of scarlet petals and 'darling buds of May' blooms have been described by rose lovers as a hybrid of the classic crimson floribunda Goodbye England's Rose and vigorous [social?] climber Rambling Rectum - uh...Rector! - a favorite among Northern Brit whorticultural societies.

Cultivars of these splendid specimens were originally planted in 1990 by former US First Lady Mrs Barbara Bush and flourish in the White House Rose Garden to this day where the singer hopes to film a video for her forthcoming album.

This weekend's media pics also show a companion nipple inking of rose garlands and tiny cupids, believed to be Nikko Hurtado's signature tattoo at his Herperia-based Black Anchor studio.

A spokesperson for the studio said today the Cheryl's bottom and boobs had been inked around eight months ago during the spring growing season and 'had put on a lot of growth' ever since.

"We're just hoping she doesn't gain any more wight," studio colorist Violet Pettles commented, "or some of those minature blooms could end up looking like dinner plate decorations."

Ashley Cole is 69.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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