Russell Brand Explains The Erotic Mail He Sent To Selena Gomez

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Wednesday, 24 April 2013

image for Russell Brand Explains The Erotic Mail He Sent To Selena Gomez
Russell admits that he has sent over a dozen erotic emails to Selena Gomez.

SANTA MONICA - Russell Brand has made no bones about the fact that he still misses his ex-girlfriend Kate Gosselin.

Brand recently sat down with Tapioca Swizzle of Tittle Tattle Tonight and had a very revealing interview.

Rusty, as Kate called him, confessed to Miss Swizzle that he still has feelings for Mrs. Gosselin and not just in the crotch region of his pants.

The transplanted Brit stressed the fact that after he divorced Katy Perry, he thought that he would go out and date Hollywood starlets left and right.

But he added that he soon found out that it was all just an empty wish and what he really wanted was to meet someone who would love him for who he is and not for what he is.

He said that when he met Kate that right away fireworks went off. Yes, he confided, a lot of them were in fact confined to his groin area but most were launched from the inner recesses of his bloomin' brain (his phrase).

Brand said that after Gosselin turned down his request to get back together he was simply devastated.

He said that he found that for some reason the only liquid he felt like drinking was Papaya Gatorade.

And he pointed out that the only food he ate for over two weeks were weenie stuffed egg rolls.

Russell told Miss Swizzle that the other day he was feeling so depressed that he sent an erotic email to Justin Bieber's ex-girlfriend, Selena Gomez.

He admitted that the email was highly provocative and sexually suggestive, but explained that he was just venting.

SIDENOTE: Russell has said that as of Wednesday morning, April 24, he has not heard a word from Selena regarding his erotic email.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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