Ex-Dixie Chicks Lead Singer Natalie Maines Solo Career A Bust

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Tuesday, 19 March 2013

image for Ex-Dixie Chicks Lead Singer Natalie Maines Solo Career A Bust
A photo of Natalie Maines hotel room in Shreveport, Louisiana. (Photo courtesy of Paco Peso).

SHREVEPORT, Louisiana - Back in 2003 during a Dixie Chicks concert in London, the band's lead singer Natalie Maines made a derogatory comment about then President George Dubya Bush.

Country music publications wrote that Maines and her fellow Dixie Chicks Emily Robison and Martie Maguire thought it was funny.

But the American people thought otherwise and literally overnight their music career ended up in the dumpster.

Dozens of concerts by the Dixie Hicks, as Toby Keith called them, were cancelled. Their record company dropped them. And retail stores took their bobble head dolls off the shelves.

Sales of Send The Dixie Chicks To Siberia bumper stickers went through the roof.

Reba McEntire, Dolly Parton, and Little Jimmy Dickens asked The Dixie Chicks to apologize but they refused and they even put out a song titled "Ain't Ready To Make Nice."

They soon followed it with "I Ain't Never, Ever Gonna Apologize So Y'all Just Get The Hell Over It, Ya Hear."

The first song sold 27 copies the second one sold 4 copies which were bought by Natalie, Emily, Martie, and Naomi Campbell.

The country girl band soon disappeared off the country music radar.

Their last gig was in the parking lot of a Pompous Pizza Parlor in Chinese Wall, Wyoming.

SIDENOTE: Natalie just kicked off her solo career in Shreveport, Louisiana. She performed at The Cajun Mosquito Hotel's Bzzzzz Room to a crowd of 9, including 5 hotel employees.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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