X-Factor: Tate "Cowboy" Stevens Wins The $5 Million First Prize!

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Friday, 21 December 2012

image for X-Factor: Tate "Cowboy" Stevens Wins The $5 Million First Prize!
One of Tate Stevens lucky cowboy boots which he said is the reason he won this year's X-Factor. (Photo by Demi Lovato).

HOLLYWOOD - It is no secret that Simon Cowell, who owns and appears as a judge on X-Factor, has never been a fan of country music, but as they say down in Nashville, "The city slicker has sho nuff done gone and changed his tune."

Tate Stevens, who hails from Belton, Missouri beat out the all-girl group Fifth Harmony and the fabulous 13-year-old Carly Rose Sonenclar to win the biggest first place prize on television.

The 37-year-old, who has a bit of a tendency to cry more in one two hour X-Factor show that Roy Rogers, Gene Autry, and Clint Eastwood did in their combined careers, says he owes it all to his wife, Ashlie.

Stevens said that Ashlie used to tell him that he could not have his dinner until he sang her at least three country songs.

Mrs. Stevens told co-host Mario Lopez that Old Tater, as his grandparents call him, does not like to put it out, but he loves singing songs by Reba McEntire, Dolly Parton, and Taylor Swift.

Many critics felt that Stevens had an unfair advantage since when he sang some of his country songs on the X-Factor stage he incorporated country elements such as cows, chickens, pigs, horses, a breeding bull, some saloon can-can dancers, a standard-size Conestoga wagon, and an 1869 butter churn.

When Tate was asked by co-host Khloe Kardashian, who was dressed like a 16-year-old schoolgirl, what he planned on doing with the money, he paused, thought for a few moments and replied that first he was going to pay off the tractor and the automatic milking machine.

He then added that he was going to go out and buy his wife the prettiest dress that $75 can buy.

SIDENOTE: After the show Britney (Spears) was asked about the fact that her fiancé Jason Trawick is planning on dumping her after Christmas. She got some tears in her eyes and said that she has heard the talk but truly believes that it is nothing but a vicious rumor made up that Salem witch Chelsea Handler, whom she has said has all the personality of a frog freckle.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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