Written by Abel Rodriguez

Thursday, 20 December 2012

image for Kate Gosselin and Russell Brand's PDA At The La Brea Tar Pits
A photo of Kate that was taken back when she was dating Steven "Lips" Tyler. (Photo by Ryan Seacrest).

LA BREA, California - Kate Gosselin and Russell Brand, who broke up in August of 2011, were seen walking hand-in-hand at the famed La Brea Tar Pits.

According to several eyewitnesses, Kate was wearing a Pittsburgh Steelers jersey, Daisy Duke shorts, and Cleopatra Sandals.

Brand was said to be wearing blue jeans that looked like they had been through several World War II Pacific Island Campaigns, a shirt that was torn in at least eight places, and sandals that looked like something Richard "Sissy" Simmons would wear to a tanning salon.

One of the eyewitnesses who said her name was Harpeesha Gooberlap of Monrovia, said that the pair, who are both 37, were engaging in a PDA (public display of affection ) that made them look like a couple of San Fernando Valley teenagers parked in the parking lot of a local Hank's Hippity Hoppity Hamburger Restaurant.

The eyewitness noted that Russell appeared to be kissing Kate's neck and basically running the entire expanse of his tongue from her chin over to one ear and then over to the other ear.

Miss Gooberlap further stated that after about four minutes of that isometric exercise a security guard walked up to the adult couple and asked them to take their erotic merriment somewhere else as there were lots of young impressionable children present.

SIDENOTE: Kate reportedly told her nanny Mindy Lulu Lickenfeister, that a certain part of her wouldn't mind getting back together with Brandy, as she affectionately refers to Russell Brand.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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