Written by Abel Rodriguez

Saturday, 15 September 2012

NEW YORK CITY - In what has to be one of the worst kept secrets of recent times, Hollywood starlet Eva Longoria, 37, has finally admitted that yes, she is dating Mark Sanchez, the 25-year-old quarterback for the New York Jets of the NFL.

Longoria and Sanchez were recently spotted having Lobster Newburg and Papaya Margaritas at New York's trendy The Plastered Platypus Lounge.

The star of Desperate Housewives, who is 12 years older than Sanchez, was told by a reporter for Tittle Tattle Tonight that she is getting a reputation for being a cougar since she was 7 years older than her former husband San Antonio Spurs guard Tony Parker and 10 years older than her ex-boyfriend Penelope Cruz's little brother Eduardo Cruz, who is 27.

Longoria stated that she just wanted to give Demi Moore, Melanie Griffith, and Rosetta Selltucker some competition.

[EDITOR'S NOTE: I have no idea who Rosetta Selltucker is and when I called Ryan Seacrest to ask him his answering machine said he was on vacation with his girlfriend Julianne Hough down in Cabo San Lucas, Mexico.]

Mark Sanchez was contacted by 3T's Kiowa Kettle and asked what he thinks about dating a woman who is a dozen years older than him.

He laughed and said that Eva's birth certificate may say she is 37, but her gorgeously svelte body says she 21. He added that Eva has already taught him some mattress merriment moves that he had never even heard of like the Gibraltar Giddy Giddy Grip and the Russian Rub-A-Dub-Dub Two In A Tub Position.

To view photographs of Eva Longoria in a yellow dental floss bikini swimsuit go to www.evalongoriammmmm-mmmmm.hot.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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