Santonio Holmes Wants to Accentuate the Positive

Funny story written by Ossurworld

Thursday, 19 July 2012

Santonio Holmes, New York Jet figure of fun, has complained now that the media is reporting on negative things. the media is reporting on negative things. He wants the media to accentuate the positive.

If the media follows Santonio's dictum, there would be no reportage of his naked photos that made a sensation on the Internet.

Many moons ago a crooner named Bing Crosby actually sang the refrain that Holmes is now humming. The tune was a big hit in its day, written by Johnny Mercer.

The tune was called, "Accentuate the Positive."

The lyrics basically said repeatedly that you've got to accentuate the positive. You've got to eliminate the negative and latch on to the affirmative.

There is no in-between, not even between Tim Tebow and Mark Sanchez. There are only positive vibes, especially in the NFL. If Santonio Holmes is to be interpreted: you have to avoid Mr. In-Between.

Avoid those "Bountygate stories," and latch on to those Super Bowl smile tales. The media ought not report those in-between the lockers of locker-room stories.

For a football player with feats of clay, you must spread joy to the max and bring gloom down to the minimum.

Listen to that Holmes, media members, lest you bring pandemonium down upon the scene. If Suh is stomping on your QB, just accentuate the positive.

We think Mr. Holmes is actually singing "When You Wish Upon a Star," but that's another song altogether with a fairy named Tinkerbelle and little boys who never grow up.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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