Derek Hough Romps With Mystery Beauty

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Sunday, 22 July 2012


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A photo of Derek Hough's new mystery beauty, lingerie model Kessie Ripplegreen. (Photo courtesy of Rico Chorizo).

HOLLYWOOD HILLS - Derek Hough has denied on several occasions that the reason why he broke up with Cheryl Cole last year was due to her Geordie accent.

The star of the reality show Dancing With The Stars remarked that the reason why he broke up with the English singer was because she wanted to return back to Great Britain and they both knew that their relationship could not survive the 5,000 plus miles distance.

Cole still wanted to continue in a long distance telephone relationship but Derek decided to end it. The English songstress known as Chezza soon ended up returning to England and her singing, dancing, and short shorts modeling career.

Meanwhile Derek was recently linked with the extremely beautiful opera singer and DWTS contestant Katherine Jenkins who hails from Wales.

The two were seen all over Hollywood, including at Derek's favorite restaurant The Vicious Guppy Seafood Diner in Marina Del Rey.

But Derek soon revealed that it turned out to be the same old story; the "Thousands and Thousands of Miles Factor."

"The Dancing Dude" finally decided that his next relationship would be with an American girl who lives on the West Coast and who would not be prone to suddenly having to get on a jet plane and fly thousands of miles to her home.

After dating several Tinsel Town starlets, Derek met a lingerie model named Kessie Ripplegreen, while he was having breakfast at a local Tacos, Tacos, and Mucho More Tacos in West Hollywood.

Miss Ripplegreen was sitting in the next booth having some bacon and guacamole breakfast tacos with her twin sister Karleen.

Derek asked Kessie if she could pass him their bowl of pico de gallo salsa since his bowl was empty. Kessie smiled and told him that she would but that it would cost him.

"The Dancing Dude" asked how much.

"Three kisses on the cheek or one on the lips." Came the reply.

And with that Derek jumped to his feet, sat down beside Kessie, and kissed her on the mouth. She blushed and accidentally stuck her blouse sleeve in the pico de gallo salsa.

She apologized profusely and Derek, ever the advantageous one, remarked that it was going to cost her.

"How much?" She asked coyly.

And Hough told her that she would have to go out on a date with him. Her sister moaned as Kessie agreed to the deal.

The Dancing With The Stars dancer and Kessie, who works as a lingerie model have been dating ever since and since she is relatively unknown many fans refer to her simply as the "Mystery Beauty."

The couple recently returned from a visit to St. Barts in the West Indies, where they had a great time enjoying candlelit dinners, fancy continental breakfasts, luxurious lunches, and midnight semi-nude romps on the beach.

In Sports News. Kobe Bryant is denying the allegations that he has been sending Kate Gosselin some very intimate text messages.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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