Anna Chapman, The Former Russian Spy To Star With Ron Jeremy and Johnny Depp In The Spy Thriller "Undercover Cuddling"

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Friday, 15 June 2012


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image for Anna Chapman, The Former Russian Spy To Star With Ron Jeremy and Johnny Depp In The Spy Thriller "Undercover Cuddling"
A photo of a neighborhood in Cleveland known as "Little Russia." (Photo by Karina Smirnoff).

HOLLYWOOD - Noted Italian director Bandini Borrapelli has worked with some of the most popular and most beautiful actresses including Nina Dobrev, Mila Kunis, Paris Hilton, and Sofia Vergara.

He recently spoke with Pico de Gallo of Tittle Tattle Tonight and told him that the one woman he has really wanted to work with is Anna Chapman, the former Russian spy.

Borrapelli said that Chapman has that mysterious magnitude that only certain actresses such as Sophia Loren, Gina Lollobrigida, Claudia Cardinale, and Bo Derek had.

The director got his wish when TouchRock Films in association with Cloud 13 Pictures asked him to direct Anna Chapman, Ron Jeremy, and Johnny Depp in the Russian spy thriller Undercover Cuddling.

The spy epic, which was written by Sherwood Letterman, a cousin of the talk show host David Letterman, is set in the Ukrainian town of Sevastopol.

Johnny Depp stars as Vladimir Tulaskoychev, who is the executive director of the Russian spy network agency Vodkavich, a covert organization that wants to take over the Ethiopian cell phone communications system known as The Sprinting Gazelle.

Ron Jeremy stars as the president of Slovakia, Brezno Vidzatovsky, who once dated the Ethiopian Minister of Jungle Poaching Bamboo Tataloomga's wife Nancy Tataloomga.

Anna Chapman stars as a Russian spy named Tatiana "Luscious Lips" Moscovina who rejected President Vidzatovsky's intimate advances because she felt that he had way too many girlfriends plus the fact that he had the somewhat strangely annoying habit of spitting every 25 seconds or so.

Without giving away too much of the movie's plot in the end Tatiana Moscovina and Vladimir Tulaskoychev kidnap President Brezno Vidzatovsky and transport him to Siberia.

Tatiana and Vladimir get married in Dubai, India, and move to Topeka, Kansas, where they change their names to Timmy and Tammy Wildbiscuit.

The Wildbiscuit's soon get a small business loan and open up a little diner named Timmy & Tammy's Lip Smacking Hot Dogs.

SIDENOTE: Undercover Cuddling will be filmed on location in Cleveland, Ohio, which amazingly resembles parts of the Ukraine, Ethiopia, and Slovakia.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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